Remember when you were in grade 1 or pre-school and your teachers asked what you wanted to be? And you probably said something simple like a Doctor, Lawyer , Nurse, Policeman etc…Well…is that where you’re headed now?
It is only this year where I really developed my true opinion of the school system(Not clouded by my parents’ opinion or teachers or friends or anyone else) . I noticed how we’ve been brainwashed. In school you’re taught that mathematics and science is very important and if you’re not good at those then you’re ‘not smart’. Which I find very ridiculous because different people are ‘smart’ in different things or different ways. Others are very good at talking, others are good at creating , others are good at writing , others are good in science, maths and all those subjects and others are just STREET SMART… But just because they not the smart we all expected does it mean they not smart? Think about it.
The school system trains us to be robots… literally. Remember when they told you to put your finger on your mouth to keep you quiet and poor, little you thought it was really normal… or when they told you to line up because that’s what normal people do… or when they told you go to school , get 7 distinctions go to varsity and that’s the only way life will happen or work out for you??
It’s only now that i realized that the school system is actually fucked up and it’s literally killing our generation daily. Instead of teachers helping kids to find their passions and pursue their dreams they are too busy checking who’s the top students, who’s in the top 10 , who’s the smartest child… making learners competitive. I hated competition. I mean how can different people compete with one another when they are different and have different interests? That’s like Castor Semenya competing with Serena Williams…! I mean they are different and play different sports.
I want you to sit down and think about what your passion is .What you want to do with your life. Shut everyone else out for a second…teachers, parents, friends, family….shut them all out. It’s just you. If you still can’t find your passion keep on doing something new.. challenge yourself, keep on trying something you’ve never done before , I mean that’s how I found my talent and passion for modeling, makeup artistry and YouTube content creating . Imagine if I didn’t try…!?
Don’t let the school system fool you. Not everyone is cut out to be an engineer, doctor or accountant…We all different but they treat us the same… Let that sink in.
ANYWAY, before I get too deep and start getting hate from teachers(LOL) let me leave you with this quote:
“The best feeling in the world is getting paid for doing what you love”
Always remember that!!
You know what they say:
“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life”-Coco Chanel
I’ve been wanting to cut my for the longest time, but I was so hesitant and undecided. I was not sure if it would suit me and if I’ll like it! But hey here we are and I’m so happy I did it. I don’t regret it at all!
Long ago , most of the time , in magazines all you found was girls with long, straight, sleek hair. Hardly girls with kinky, coiled hair. And I think it’s time that things changed. And Our generation is doing a really good job at that…we are being more inclusive, searching for diversity and I’m proud to be a part of it. I like that we are embracing ‘different’.
Your hair is also one of the things people look at before you even open your mouth, together with your outfit and presentation. It’s like a crown. So keep it sparkling, Keep it shining. EMBRACE IT! It’s a part of you!
Yesterday I made the decision to go natural and try a natural hair journey. I’m very nervous about it but I’m really excited and we will see how it goes. I’m going to try my utmost best to not relax it or put chemicals in it. It’s going to be hard, yes, since I’m used to relaxing my hair, but I’m up for the challenge. And we will see how far it goes(LOL)…
But thank you to everyone who’s inspired me about going short and natural and those who are part of this hair journey (from hair tips and advice to compliments )
I love you guys! Hope you enjoyed this post and if you’re reading this and you want to go natural or short , I say go for it!! But do it for you, do it wholeheartedly and make sure you OWN IT !
DREAM. BELIEVE. FLY
“Failure is not the opposite of success, it is part of success.”-Arianna Huffington
So I feel like this past week and weeks before that I have been feeling a little “fearful” if we could put it like that. Fearing the outcome of everything going on around me. So it is almost the end of Semester 2 of my first year and man it has been a roller coaster and the only thing that’s been on my mind constantly is: “Will I make it?”
Growing up, I was always an A student and for me something like a 60% is a total fail( even though my mom always protested :”Naledi you’re exaggerating! You did well!” Lol😄) so I had to adapt and accept that varsity was different and obviously there’s a huge change and the standard won’t obviously be the same compared to primary and high school. Accepting failure was one of my biggest challenges to a point where I would be scared of trying because I was scared I would fail again.
I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks during my matric year. It is something I never spoke about because it made me uncomfortable. But after my preliminary exam where I had my worst attack and collapsed I realized that I had to talk about it and do something about it. The thing with anxiety is that it is a state of mind, it is all in the head . It is not something physical that you can quickly fix and adjust. It takes a lot of time to get over, it’s like a fear or phobia.
It was only when I came to varsity and got exposed to constant failure, where I realized that failure is part of life and I will never make myself go through another panic attack. That is not my story, and I decided that wasn’t how my story was going to end.
In this blog post, I’d love to leave you with “experience is the best teacher” kinda vibe , but I will again mention that without failure we never really realize our true potential. When you fail, you’re set off-balance, you’re on the edge, brought out of the ‘routine’ of your comfort zone. And that’s when you realize that you have to change something ,put in more effort somewhere, basically CHANGE. Which is what I want to emphasize on: CHANGE. I mean a comfort zone is really nice and everything but nothing grows there. Nothing. No CHANGE.
So when you’re constantly on the edge , you’re constantly changing . Kind of like Maths: rates of change, derivatives,- they don’t stay the same, the final answer is not the same as the question before it was differentiated or derived ( lol my inner nerd speaking ;that’s calculus by the way for some who might not be sure…). But anyways my point is : LEARN TO EMBRACE FAILURE. Yes, at that moment it won’t feel good when you fail, but think about how much you’ll change and become a better person; Improved.
I always say it’s about Progress not Perfection . You’d rather have growth than constant perfection of the same , damn old thing.
SO go out there and bloom. Metamorphosis🦋. The process is messy but without it , there won’t be a story to tell to all those people who will feel like giving up and will need a little ‘pick me up’. The world needs YOU. SO go write your story so you can tell it…
Growing up is not easy! This thing called ‘adulting’ issa lot!! Literally! But my first semester in varsity has shown me the most AND also put me through the most. But I survived! Because I am a survivor(#Singing: I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna give up, I’m not gonna stop, I’m gonna work harder !#) Lols!
But on the real though it was really a lot to deal with. I found myself doubting what I was doing, doubting myself and re-asking myself what I wanted to be and what I wanted to do in this life. It’s funny how when we were young, little and ambitious and we were asked by our teachers and parents what we wanted to be when we grew up, it was so easy to just say : “A lawyer” or “A doctor” or “A scientist” etc, not even understanding how much work it would take , effort, sacrifices, pain, disappointment, more disappointment… and even more DISAPOINTMENT ,to the point where you feel like really giving up on your dreams and the person you’d like to become.
Another reason why we feel like giving up on our dreams is also because there’s so many people around us telling us we won’t make it : From lectures who tell you : ‘if you can’t get 60% for this test , you might as well drop out and leave this course because you’re going to DEFINITELY fail’ (as if they were God and can predict the future ) to friends who tell you to rethink your decision , lower your standards a little and find a second option.
But what if I don’t want or have a second option? What if this is the only thing I want to become? Or be?
Let that sink in a little. How many times has someone told you that you can’t do something and you believed them? How many times has someone told you to give up and you did just that? How many times has someone discouraged you and you felt down? But I have to ask you …: Do you really want it as bad as a street kid would love to have food or as much as a poor man would want his last last business plan to work otherwise his whole family will go hungry? How bad do you really want it ? And if you really want it , then everything else shouldn’t matter .
This reminds me of the quote by Dr. Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.
I wrote this post because I realized that so many people are giving up on their true dreams and childhood dreams because some ‘big headed’ person told them that they cannot do it. And these people end up living lives they not happy with, and that’s bad for a country and an economy. Think about it; you would go to service-providing institutions or businesses or even just retail stores : How many people help you or render you a service that’s excellent with a happy and a willing heart? Not many of them! Why is it like that ? Of course it is because they are not happy and really don’t want to be at work and wouldn’t give a **** about you and providing you with a good service.
So tonight, before you go to sleep. Look yourself in the mirror and forget about everyone else and everything else and ask yourself :
- What you truly want to do
- Who you truly want to be
- And lastly, what are you willing to do to make sure you get to that goal or become that person …
Do a lot of thinking and reflecting because as Taiichi Ohno said: “You can’t recycle wasted time”
Remember: You only live once, live a life without regret…
A lot of the times we are surrounded by people; we are not alone. Although it’s not really a bad thing being around people, sometimes you just need to go away and just enjoy your own silence and space.
It’s in the times when you’re alone where you get the time to truly reflect on how you TRULY are and how you genuinely doing in life ; not those lies you’ve been telling everyone saying that you’re okay. You know…? When you just making conversation, like: “Hey, how you are you?” and you just say “I’m good thanks and yourself?” . But really if I may ask are you really okay?
Well I have to admit, we are all liars. Because even on the days where you don’t really feel okay ;you just say you’re okay just to pass time, to make conversation , maybe because it’s easier to just say that or even worse MAYBE IT’S JUST A HABIT… Why do we do that ? Are we scared that someone might not really be interested to hear our truth, that they might be irritated and bored every time you tell them how you REALLY feeling. And to be quite frank , I do it a lot too. Even when I wake up in the morning and my mom asks me “How did you sleep?” and I be like,”I slept well thank you” , even though I know I had the worst dream or should I say nightmare that got me tossing and turning at night. So… to be honest I’m also guilty of that.
I read Maya Angelou’s A Letter to my Daughter book quite a while back but I keep on going back to it(even today) when I need motivation and words of wisdom. And recently I read one of her chapters titled Telling The Truth where she talks about always talking the truth no matter what. She said the following words at the end of the chapter and they really got me in my feels: “Let’s tell the truth to the people. When people ask,’How are you,’ have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully . You must know however that people will start avoiding you because they too have knees that pain them and heads which hurt and they don’t want to know about yours. But think of it this way, if people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you.”
See , I know we don’t always like talking about the things that hurt and affect us but honestly it wouldn’t hurt if you just sat down , spoke to someone, or even yourself( it sounds crazy but it really works) and just reflect on HOW YOU REALLY DOING. Am I coping? Do I need a break? What can I do to re-energize my life? What do you love doing? Whatever that it is, do it! And I’m sure it will leave you feeling all ENERGIZED again and REFRESHED to start again and take over the world!
But whatever it is , give yourself some time to reflect. Sit down, have a cup of coffee or tea and just reflect , think and just for one second be you, the you that’s not surrounded by people where you constantly have to please everyone and lie to everyone telling them that you okay even if you not. It’s in these times of tranquility where you can hear your true inner voice talking to you with its honest and truthful voice …and not all the fabricated lies we’ve been feeding the world…
I hope this blog post encourages you , to go find that inner peace and quiet place to just REFLECT and get your ‘groove back’. Much Love✌️
-Dream. Believe. Fly-
‘If you have a passion for something and you do it with love ;you won’t have to work a day in your life!!!’
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