Embracing failure, not fearing it…

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Photographer : @the27sphotography     

 

“Failure is not the opposite of success, it is part of success.”-Arianna Huffington 

So I feel like this past week and weeks before that I have been feeling a little “fearful” if we could put it like that. Fearing the outcome of everything going on around me. So it is almost the end of Semester 2 of my first year and man it has been a roller coaster and the only thing that’s been on my mind constantly is: “Will I make it?”

Growing up, I was always an A student and for me something like a 60% is a total fail( even though my mom always protested :”Naledi you’re exaggerating! You did well!” Lol😄)  so I had to adapt and accept that varsity was different and obviously there’s a huge change and the standard won’t obviously be the same compared to primary and high school. Accepting failure was one of my biggest challenges to a point where I would be scared of trying because I was scared I would fail again.

I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks during my matric year. It is something I never spoke about because it made me uncomfortable. But after my preliminary exam where I had my worst attack and collapsed I realized that I had to talk about it and do something about it. The thing with anxiety is that it is a state of mind, it is all in the head . It is not something physical that you can quickly fix and adjust. It takes a lot of time to get over, it’s like a fear or phobia.

It was only when I came to varsity and got exposed to constant failure, where I realized that failure is part of life and I will never make myself go through another panic attack. That is not my story, and I decided that wasn’t how my story was going to end.

In this blog post, I’d love to leave you with “experience is the best teacher” kinda vibe , but I will again mention that without failure we never really realize our true potential. When you fail, you’re set off-balance, you’re on the edge, brought out of the ‘routine’ of your comfort zone. And that’s when you realize that you have to change something ,put in more effort somewhere, basically CHANGE. Which is what I want to emphasize on: CHANGE. I mean a comfort zone is really nice and everything but nothing grows there. Nothing. No CHANGE.

So when you’re constantly on the edge , you’re constantly changing . Kind of like Maths: rates of change, derivatives,- they don’t stay the same, the final answer is not the same as the question before it was differentiated or derived ( lol my inner nerd speaking ;that’s calculus by the way for some who might not be sure…). But anyways my point is : LEARN TO EMBRACE FAILURE. Yes, at that moment it won’t feel good when you fail, but think about how much you’ll change and become a better person; Improved.

I always say it’s about Progress not Perfection . You’d rather have growth than constant perfection of the same , damn old thing.

SO go out there and bloom. Metamorphosis🦋. The process is messy but without it , there won’t be a story to tell to all those people who will feel like giving up and will need a little ‘pick me up’. The world needs YOU. SO go write your story so you can tell it…

Dream. Believe.Fly

-Naledi Swaratlhe- 

Why we sometimes lose interest in our childhood dreams when we grow up

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Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire 

Growing up is not easy! This thing called ‘adulting’ issa lot!! Literally! But my first semester in varsity has shown me the most AND also put me through the most. But I survived! Because I am a survivor(#Singing: I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna give up, I’m not gonna stop, I’m gonna work harder !#) Lols!

 

But on the real though it was really a lot to deal with. I found myself doubting what I was doing, doubting myself and re-asking myself what I wanted to be and what I wanted to do in this life. It’s funny how when we were young, little and ambitious and we were asked by our teachers and parents what we wanted to be when we grew up, it was so easy to just say : “A lawyer” or “A doctor” or “A scientist” etc, not even understanding how much work it would take , effort, sacrifices, pain, disappointment, more disappointment… and even more DISAPOINTMENT ,to the point where you feel like really giving up on your dreams and the person you’d like to become.

Another reason why we feel like giving up on our dreams is also because there’s so many people around us telling us we won’t make it : From lectures who tell you : ‘if you can’t get 60% for this test , you might as well drop out and leave this course because you’re going to DEFINITELY fail’ (as if they were God and can predict the future ) to friends who tell you to rethink your decision , lower your standards a little and find a second option.

But what if I don’t want or have a second option? What if this is the only thing I want to become? Or be?

Let that sink in a little. How many times has someone told you that you can’t do something and you believed them? How many times has someone told you to give up and you did just that? How many times has someone discouraged you and you felt down? But I have to ask you …: Do you really want it as bad as a street kid would love to have food or as much as a poor man would want his last last business plan to work otherwise his whole family will go hungry? How bad do you really want it ? And if you really want it , then everything else shouldn’t matter .

This reminds me of the quote by Dr. Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”. 

I wrote this post because I realized that so many people are giving up on their true dreams and childhood dreams because some ‘big headed’ person told them that they cannot do it. And these people end up living lives they not happy with, and that’s bad for a country and an economy. Think about it; you would go to service-providing institutions or businesses or even just retail stores : How many people help you or render you a service that’s excellent with a happy and a willing heart? Not many of them! Why is it like that ? Of course it is because they are not happy and really don’t want to be at work and wouldn’t give a **** about you and providing you with a good service.

So tonight, before you go to sleep. Look yourself in the mirror and forget about everyone else and everything else and ask yourself :

  1. What you truly want to do
  2. Who you truly want to be
  3. And lastly, what are you willing to do to make sure you get to that goal or become that person …

Do a lot of thinking and reflecting because as Taiichi Ohno said: “You can’t recycle wasted time”

Remember: You only live once, live a life without regret…

Dream.Believe.Fly 

-Naledi Swaratlhe-

Learning how to enjoy your own company

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Photographer: @the27sphotography |Art Director+Stylist: Indi(@itsmeindiana)

A lot of the times we are surrounded by people; we are not alone. Although it’s not really a bad thing being around people, sometimes you just need to go away and just enjoy your own silence and space.

It’s in the times when you’re alone where you get the time to truly reflect on how you TRULY are and how you genuinely doing in life ; not those lies you’ve been telling everyone saying that you’re okay. You know…? When you just making conversation, like: “Hey, how you are you?” and you just say “I’m good thanks and yourself?” . But really if I may ask are you really okay?

Well I have to admit, we are all liars. Because even on the days where you don’t really feel okay ;you just say you’re okay just to pass time, to make conversation , maybe because it’s easier to just say that or even worse MAYBE IT’S JUST A HABIT… Why do we do that ? Are we scared that someone might not really be interested to hear our truth, that they might be irritated and bored every time you tell them how you REALLY feeling. And to be quite frank , I do it a lot too. Even when I wake up in the morning and my mom asks me “How did you sleep?” and I be like,”I slept well thank you” , even though I know I had the worst dream or should I say nightmare that got me tossing and turning at night. So… to be honest I’m also guilty of that.

I read Maya Angelou’s A Letter to my Daughter book quite a while back but I keep on going back to it(even today)  when I need motivation and words of wisdom. And recently I read one of her chapters titled Telling The Truth where she talks about always talking the truth no matter what. She said the following words at the end of the chapter and they really got me in my feels: “Let’s tell the truth to the people. When people ask,’How are you,’ have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully . You must know however that people will start avoiding you because they too have knees that pain them and heads which hurt and they don’t want to know about yours. But think of it this way, if people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you.”

See , I know we don’t always like talking about the things that hurt and affect us but honestly it wouldn’t hurt if you just sat down , spoke to someone, or even yourself( it sounds crazy but it really works) and just reflect on HOW YOU REALLY DOING. Am I coping? Do I need a break? What can I do to re-energize my life? What do you love doing? Whatever that it is, do it! And I’m sure it will leave you feeling all ENERGIZED again and REFRESHED to start again and take over the world!

But whatever it is , give yourself some time to reflect. Sit down, have a cup of coffee or tea and just reflect , think and just for one second be you, the you that’s not surrounded by people where you constantly have to please everyone and lie to everyone telling them that you okay even if you not. It’s in these times of tranquility where you can hear your true inner voice talking to you with its honest and truthful voice …and not all the fabricated lies we’ve been feeding the world…

I hope this blog post encourages you , to go find that inner peace and quiet place to just REFLECT and get your ‘groove back’. Much Love✌️

 

-Naledi Swaratlhe-

-Dream. Believe. Fly-

 

My passion

‘If you have a passion for something and you do it with love ;you won’t have to work a day in your life!!!’

Do you have a Prom, Ball, Matric Dance or any kind of event and need to get your makeup done?I got you girl!!! Book today!

Email me :naledins@icloud.com

Please make an appointment at least a week in advance.

Thank you loves.😘

 

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Book your session today! Also check out my Instagram: @makeupbynaledi_s 

How to slay,’smash’ and make your 2018 year count!!

fullsizeoutput_2276Hey loves!! I hope you are doing well! So it’s been a little while since I’ve posted , so this blog post is dedicated to you and the New Year! I recently did a YouTube video on how to make the  most of 2018. My 2017 year wasn’t the best of best years , however I feel like I have learnt so much from it and would like to share with you guys how I took the lessons of 2017 and how I’m going to make the most of this year.

I summarized 5 tips below on how to make the most of the year 2018:

Tip 1:

Prepare. Prepare. Prepare! You can never be ‘TOO’ prepared for something. There is literally mo such thing as over preparation. If you’re in Matric, start preparing for your finals by the first month already. If you’re in varsity, start preparing for your year-end examinations at the first go! Whatever profession or institution you’re in, start preparing! You know as they say: “If you fail to prepare ,you prepare to fail”. And I CANNOT AGREE MORE…

Tip 2:

Stop caring about what everyone thinks about you! The minute you start worrying and start caring about what everyone else thinks about you , you stop yourself from being your true self. Because you are constantly asking yourself what people will think if you do this or if you do that. The honest truth is that someone will always have an opinion about you or something to say about you! Honestly! It is human nature ! So stop worrying, breathe and just DO YOU boo!

Tip 3:

Learn from your mistakes. Truth be told we all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. My mom always says : “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes”. Because truth be told, we learn better when we make mistakes; way better than when people tell us what to actually do. Experience is the best teacher, right?

Tip 4:

Spice up your wardrobe. So I’m a fashion kinda girl and I love dressing up! I feel like outfits and fashion is like art ; you express your mood through whatever it is that you’re wearing! Fashion doesn’t only speak for you and express your mood, but it also gives you that confidence boost and ‘feel-good’ factor. I always say: “When you look good , you feel good and when you feel good, you DO good!

Tip 5

Finally; it is to get rid of any negative energy and be positive. One of the things that I’ve learnt from 2017 is that my mood right from the beginning of the day affects the rest of my day. So when I start the day on a negative or bad note , I end up not enjoying the rest of my day! If I had a disagreement or argument with someone in the morning, I’m affected for the WHOLE day! So what better way is there to get rid of all negative thoughts and just own my day right from the beginning! If anyone is bringing a negative vibe on your social media platforms, delete and block them. If someone always highlights your flaws and is always negative about you, avoid them completely and make it clear that y’all are not friends! Sometimes life is that simple, we just complicate it for ourselves…

So there you have it loves!! Your top 5 tips on how to slay, ‘smash’ and make the most of 2018 !

I wish you guys nothing but the best! If you need any advice or have questions you’d like to ask me you can either comment below or email me on :naledins@icloud.com and I will gladly help you and get back to you as soon as I can!

DREAM.BELIEVE.FLY. 

-Naledi Swaratlhe-

Check out my YouTube video below:

 

When do you feel the most beautiful?

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Different people feel beautiful as a result of different things. Some feel beautiful when they have makeup on and others feel beautiful when they are at their most confident and are content with what they have and where they are in life. What I gotta ask though is: When do YOU feel the most beautiful? 

Now, I want you to sit down and really think about it. Are you the type that feels beautiful when someone gives you a compliment on your attire, ootd , your  R10 000 sneakers or heels, your makeup , your facebeat, your new & perfect lifestyle or on your achievements? Or are you the type that feels the most beautiful when you are so content with yourself that you don’t need anyone else’s compliments and affirmation?

You are the only person that can answer this question…

Truth be told, if the thing that makes you happy and feel beautiful is something that’s tangible, it can easily fade away or be taken away from you one way or another. I repeat it can easily fade away. If it’s something of quantity and not quality, might won’t work for very long. I mean even beauty gurus and makeup artists sometimes get tired of the tons and layers and layers of makeup, sometimes all they want is a clear face. So something like makeup shouldn’t be the only thing that makes you feel the most beautiful. I mean I get that sometimes makeup gives you that confidence boost and you feel really confident and in charge but you should still get home and be able to use your makeup remover and wash your face and still look at yourself in the mirror and still fall in love with what you see in the mirror and be comfortable in your own skin.

I asked a couple of girls when do they feel the most beautiful and I was happy to receive answers that were more about quality compared to quantity or should I say materiality. Some mentioned that they feel the most beautiful when they are at their most confident and when they realize their worth and when they appreciate themselves. Others said when they are themselves around the people they love. And lastly, others feel the most beautiful when they have freshened up and they have full makeup on, but again the makeup is not seen as putting a mask on; it is more of an enhancement and I can’t agree more. I am a beauty blogger and vlogger and I mostly blog and vlog about makeup, but I’m still content and proud of my fresh face that has no makeup on. I also see makeup as an enhancement of my beautiful features and not as a way to hide and change myself.

I still ask YOU when do YOU feel the most beautiful? Think about it! Make sure that it isn’t something that someone can take away and steal from you. Make sure it is something that is intangible ; something that is worth a bit more or a lot more than pounds,dollars, rands etc. Find your happy place and embrace it, because believe it or not , that is the place where you’ll feel the most confident, content and of course : THE MOST BEAUTIFUL…

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I feel the most beautiful when I am CONTENT and COMFORTABLE in my own skin🌼❤️ 

 

Life of an Introvert

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You cry alone

No one ever sees

You feel like you suffocating

And no one can see you

 

No reason to be happy

You are all you have

 

They look at you like you are crazy

“The crazy ones”

You don’t see your own beauty

Because you too focused on how they see you

 

Unfortunately they don’t have

the artistic eye

The one that sees all

the beauty behind all the flaws

the one that uses its imagination

the one that decides to celebrate

Beauty and what IS

instead of what could be…

 

Covers, levels, skinny-bodies, starving yourself :society’s expectations

They focus on the “Barbie”: the girl that’s CREATED(that they photoshoped)

Not the girl that just lets go and let nature work its magic

Well enough with society

The day when heaven finally welcomes me

Folks will sit at my funeral and listen to all the eulogies

And the eulogies won’t state: Naledi and society were…

It will state: Naledi was…

 

So I’m sorry World

But now it’s my time to livelife

The way I want to: Extroverted-introvert. The crazy one. The outcast

It’s okay but guess what? It’s ME not

Us….