Seeking For My Inner Peace

Till when am i going to be unhappy?
Till when am i going to cry tears of sorrow?
Till when am i going to be hurt constantly?
Till when until i find my inner peace?
My heart drowns in a pool of tears
Its been drowning for so long that the water turns rose red
Osmosis: my blood was removed from my heart right into the pool of tears
Which left my heart colorless…no blood and no life in me
My demons rejoicing that I’m not alive anymore so they can control my soul
My foes look at me and celebrate victory that a flower has went through wilting and is now dead.
I’m seeking for inner peace and i still cant find it.
I’m still wondering where and when am i going to feel in my place.
I’m doing all of this just to please you.
I’m hurting and I’m not happy but if my own happiness will cost your unhappiness then I’d rather be unhappy and you happy.
Because we dont see eye to eye.
I’m trying too hard to please you that im losing who i am completely.
I’m forgetting where i come from and where im going.
I’m not happy. Honestly.
And the more i try to be happy the more unhappy you get
See thats the thing about love
You have to sacrifice your whole feelings and your whole being just to make sure that someone else is happy.
It’s a love-hate thing
But bottom line is my heart has drowned
My blood has been drained from my heart
And I basically don’t have a heart anymore
Thus I have nothing else to love you with….cause my heart is dead!
Thus i might have, just might have finally but finally found my Inner Peace …
-Naledi Swaratlhe

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