Life of an Introvert

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You cry alone

No one ever sees

You feel like you suffocating

And no one can see you

 

No reason to be happy

You are all you have

 

They look at you like you are crazy

“The crazy ones”

You don’t see your own beauty

Because you too focused on how they see you

 

Unfortunately they don’t have

the artistic eye

The one that sees all

the beauty behind all the flaws

the one that uses its imagination

the one that decides to celebrate

Beauty and what IS

instead of what could be…

 

Covers, levels, skinny-bodies, starving yourself :society’s expectations

They focus on the “Barbie”: the girl that’s CREATED(that they photoshoped)

Not the girl that just lets go and let nature work its magic

Well enough with society

The day when heaven finally welcomes me

Folks will sit at my funeral and listen to all the eulogies

And the eulogies won’t state: Naledi and society were…

It will state: Naledi was…

 

So I’m sorry World

But now it’s my time to livelife

The way I want to: Extroverted-introvert. The crazy one. The outcast

It’s okay but guess what? It’s ME not

Us….

 

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The World’s Got It All Wrong

rupi-kaur“apparently it is ungraceful of me
to mention my period in public
cause the actual biology
of my body is too real

it is okay to sell what’s
between a woman’s legs
more than it is okay to
mention its inner workings

the recreational use of
this body is seen as
beautiful while
its nature is
seen as ugly”

-rupi kaur

 

Seeking For My Inner Peace

Till when am i going to be unhappy?
Till when am i going to cry tears of sorrow?
Till when am i going to be hurt constantly?
Till when until i find my inner peace?
My heart drowns in a pool of tears
Its been drowning for so long that the water turns rose red
Osmosis: my blood was removed from my heart right into the pool of tears
Which left my heart colorless…no blood and no life in me
My demons rejoicing that I’m not alive anymore so they can control my soul
My foes look at me and celebrate victory that a flower has went through wilting and is now dead.
I’m seeking for inner peace and i still cant find it.
I’m still wondering where and when am i going to feel in my place.
I’m doing all of this just to please you.
I’m hurting and I’m not happy but if my own happiness will cost your unhappiness then I’d rather be unhappy and you happy.
Because we dont see eye to eye.
I’m trying too hard to please you that im losing who i am completely.
I’m forgetting where i come from and where im going.
I’m not happy. Honestly.
And the more i try to be happy the more unhappy you get
See thats the thing about love
You have to sacrifice your whole feelings and your whole being just to make sure that someone else is happy.
It’s a love-hate thing
But bottom line is my heart has drowned
My blood has been drained from my heart
And I basically don’t have a heart anymore
Thus I have nothing else to love you with….cause my heart is dead!
Thus i might have, just might have finally but finally found my Inner Peace …
-Naledi Swaratlhe

Selfish

Selfish

you awakened my love
with no intention of loving me
you told me you love me
while you couldn’t stand me

you nurtured my calls
with no intention of answering
you told me we will have a bright future
while you just longed to taste me

you told me i shined like the Sun
that i brightened up your life
while you just wanted to feel it
on your dark, dry skin

you said you understood me
meanwhile you were just friends with my body
you said you felt my soul
while you were just best friends with my female organs

i trusted you: “10 fingers”,you lied
you barely gave me 1
I stepped back, moved away, moved out
because you were selfish

-Naledi Swaratlhe